This happened a couple of months ago, but the report is just coming out.
Back on September 29th, around , 23-year-old Garrett Hurlbut of Apple Valley, Minnesota saw a newspaper delivery truck idling outside of a gas station. So he jumped in, STOLE the truck and sped off.
But police found the truck and Garrett just a few blocks away. And he told them he'd stolen the truck because he was, quote, "running from zombies."
As for why he'd stopped, he told them he jumped or fell from the truck . . . apparently he couldn't remember which.
No surprise . . . he had a blood-alcohol level of .198 and was arrested for stealing a motor vehicle.
EVERYONE KNOWS . . . DUCKS DON'T LIKE CANDY
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
A few days ago, a woman in Florida decided to feed a duck. Everything that happened after that moment turned out horribly.
Around on Saturday, 36-year-old Karie Lindgren of Tarpon Springs, Floridawas driving and saw a duck standing on a neighbor's lawn. She decided to feed the duck . . . but all she had was CANDY.
So she tried to lure the duck over with the candy to feed it. But the duck wasn't interested in the candy, and refused to walk over to her.
So Karie responded by . . . intentionally RUNNING OVER THE DUCK with her car. She literally drove up onto the lawn, floored it, ran over the duck, and killed it instantly.
But there were witnesses who called the cops . . . and Karie was arrested on one count of felony animal cruelty. That carries a maximum sentence of a $10,000 fine, and FIVE YEARS in prison.
ALL HE WANTED WAS A DRINKIN' BUDDY
Monday, November 18, 2013
As you know, your own birthday is BY FAR the most important day of the year. And it's frustrating when other people just don't GET that.
Back on Sunday, November 3rd, a man in Fort Pierce, Florida named James Collins was TRYING to celebrate his 56th birthday. But his stupid neighbors were ruining it, because they refused to get hammered DRUNK with him.
So James had some drinks by himself, and decided to teach them all a lesson . . . by calling 911 and REPORTING them for it. And the cops actually SHOWED UP, and explained to James that it was NOT a legitimate reason to call 911.
But apparently that didn't register, because about 30 minutes later, he called back to report his neighbors AGAIN.
When police showed up a second time, James wasn't there. But they eventually found him walking down the street, slurring his words, with an open bottle of vodka in his pocket.
And THIS time, they hauled him off to jail, and charged him with disorderly intoxication and misusing 911.
AT LEAST THEY WERE CONSIDERATE
Friday, November 8, 2013
Here's a reminder: even if you're a violent criminal DA . . . you don't have to be inconsiderate about it.
A 19-year-old student at the University of Central Florida named Jessica Epper was driving out of Orlando last Thursday morning, and got lost.
And when she pulled over to check her GPS, a man and woman CARJACKED her at GUNPOINT. They actually pulled her out of the car by her HAIR.
Then they jumped in the car to take off. But before they left, the guy tossed her a BOXCUTTER . . . to PROTECT herself, because they realized they were leaving her all alone in a bad part of town. Wha . . . ??
But . . . they still took her car.
The woman ran door-to-door, and someone eventually let her use their phone to call 911. Police are still looking for the carjackers.
DRUNK PEOPLE? AT A BAR??! NAW . . .
Thursday, November 7, 2013
Somewhere buried in this story is a woman with noble intentions. She just took a REALLY BAD PATH to try to achieve them.
Over the weekend, 58-year-old Mary Jaggers of Hollywood, Florida called 911 to report that she was surrounded by DRUNK PEOPLE.
The problem was . . . she was AT A BAR.
The second problem was . . . she was drunk herself.
The third problem was . . . after she hung up with 911, she called them back FIVE MORE TIMES to report all the drunk people.
That FINALLY got the cops out to the bar . . . not for all the drunk people, but for her. They found illegal painkillers on her, and she was arrested for misusing 911 and possession of hydrocodone.
Mary told them she kept calling because she was worried about the people at the bar driving drunk.
RENT TO . . . STEAL?!
Monday, October 28, 2013
I'm sure lots of people rent places on Craigslist every day, and most of them turn out fine. But when one DOESN'T, it REALLY reinforces the shady cloud that hangs over everything on Craigslist.
Earlier this month, a 58-year-old woman in Golden Valley, Arizona called the cops to report a possible Craigslist scam.
The woman and her husband had bought a house at a GREAT PRICE off a guy on Craigslist. But after she gave him a $3,000 cashier's check as a down payment and he gave her the keys . . . she found they didn't work.
The police investigated and figured out what happened. They tracked down the seller, a 35-year-old named John David Seiberling, and found he DIDN'T OWN the house.
He was just RENTING it . . . and decided to make extra money by selling it, cashing the cashier's check, then bolting. The cops caught him in the driveway, JUST as he was packing up his U-Haul to skip town on Sunday.
He was arrested on felony theft and fraud charges.
DANG . . . SHE REALLY GOT IN TO IT!
Friday, October 11, 2013
Back in May, a 44-year-old stay-at-home Momma in Australia by the name of Simone Bruce was drinking too much wine, and watching the movie "Braveheart".
And she got SO into it, she decided to grab her son's sword, go out in the driveway, and reenact some of the battle scenes.
Now, it ain’t real clear if the sword was REAL or if it was a toy. But apparently it LOOKED real enough, because her neighbors came home in their car, got freaked out, and tried to drive off.
But by this point, Simone must have been REALLY into her reenactment . . . because she started CHASING the car, and actually hit the side of it with the sword.
Apparently Simone was supposed to be on medication, but hadn't been taking it. And the judge who heard the case decided to give her 18 months of probation and ban her from drinking for the time being.
NICE TRY, MY BROTHA . . . NICE TRY
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Last week, 34-year-old Rogelio Andaverde of Edinburg, Texas wanted to go out drinking with his friends. His wife, Maria Hernandez, wanted him to stay home. So he came up with the perfect plan.
He had his friends put on MASKS and STORM into the house with GUNS . . . then "kidnap" him. They grabbed him, threw him in their car, and drove off to go drinking.
Apparently none of them realized that Maria would NOT take it as a joke. She called the cops, who launched an all-out manhunt. They sent out a HELICOPTER, and at least a DOZEN officers to search for him. But they couldn't find him.
The next morning, Rogelio walked into his house, and told his wife the kidnappers had shown him mercy and let him go.
He might've THOUGHT that would be the end of it . . . but it wasn't. The cops kept investigating and figured out he'd staged the entire thing.
So now Rogelio has been arrested and charged with making a false report to the police, which is a Class B misdemeanor. He's looking at up to a $2,000 fine and six months in prison . . . plus whatever his wife does to him.
His friends who kidnapped him weren't charged.
NOT AN ACCEPTABLE FORM OF PAYMENT
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
More proof that crack don’t smoke itself. Yesterday morning, a guy in Deltona, Florida walked into a water department office, handed an employee an envelope, and walked out.
And when the employee opened the envelope, she found WHITE POWDER inside.
So the employees called the cops, who evacuated the entire building and brought in a Hazmat team to figure out what the white powder was. Anthrax? Poison? Something else lethal?
Nope . . . it turned out to be CRACK.
Apparently the guy who'd delivered it didn't have cash to pay his water bill, so he tried to pay for it in crack cocaine.
And, because that is NOT an acceptable form of payment . . . the sheriff's department is tracking him down.
GUYS . . . BUYIN' CANDLES? REALLY?!
Friday, September 13, 2013
When you're using a business as a front for crime, at least make sure you're selling something people would actually BUY.
There's a business in San Antonio that was registered as a CANDLE SHOP, but it caught the attention of other business owners nearby . . . because the vast majority of its customers were MEN. And, well . . . men just don't buy candles.
They also noticed the staff would sometimes lock the front door after a customer went in. So police investigated, realized the store was actually offering spa treatments . . . and discovered it was a front for a PROSTITUTION RING.
The two men running the brothel were arrested late last year. One of them took a plea deal and got five years. The other has his sentencing hearing next month, and could be looking at TENyears in jail.
GET DRUNK . . . BUILD A FIRE
Friday, September 6, 2013
Back in June, a 28-year-old in England named Dariusz Garbacki was staying at his sister's house after losing his job.
So he got drunk, and decided to cook up some delicious sausages. But for some reason, he set up a barbecue in his sister's LIVING ROOM.
He pulled up floorboards, tore three doors off their hinges, made some firewood, poured lighter fluid on the pile and started cookin'.
And when his sister's smoke detectors went off, the beeping annoyed him . . . so he smashed them and tossed them all in the backyard.
Dariusz managed to burn a hole in the floor, and eventually fled the scene after realizing how much damage he'd done. When his sister got home from work, she saw the mess and called police.
And on Friday, Dariusz was sentenced to three YEARS in jail for arson. It ain't clear how the sausages turned out.
MAN VS RACCOON . . . RACOON WINS
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Last week, 81-year-old James Pace Senior of New Haven, Connecticut became MORTAL ENEMIES with a RACCOON. The raccoon had been scratching at his door, keeping him awake, and just generally terrorizing him.
Finally, on Saturday, James decided it was time for THUNDERDOME. He and the raccoon would have a showdown. Two species enter, one species leaves. So he grabbed his .22-caliber rifle, sat down on the porch, and waited for the raccoon.
And after just one shot from the rifle, the winner was . . . the raccoon.
While James was waiting for the raccoon, he SNEEZED . . . and the sneeze was so vigorous he fell off his chair. As he did, the rifle FIRED . . . and he shot himself right in the shin.
James had his son take him to the hospital. He was treated and released. No word on whether the raccoon's been back since.
IT'S ALL ABOUT THE DETAILS
Friday, August 23, 2013
The key to being a good criminal is being meticulous about the little details, so you don't get caught. Here's a guy who is undoubtedly a BAD criminal.
A 29-year-old New Hampshire man named Nickolas Messier decided to take a five-finger discount on some electronics at a local K-Mart on Tuesday evening.
He walked out through the store's garden center. Then employees watched him try to toss the items in his car and make a quick getaway. The problem is, he couldn't get into his car . . . because he'd locked his KEYSinside.
He ended up running away on foot, but police eventually tracked him down . . . apparently by running his license plate.
He was arrested and charged with shoplifting, and for having a large knife in his car, which he wasn't allowed to have because he's a convicted felon. Evidently, it didn't matter that he couldn't ACCESS the knife.
COURTEOUS . . . BUT STUPID
Thursday, August 15, 2013
On Sunday afternoon, 39-year-old Mario Garcia and 28-year-old Domingo Garcia-Hernandez tried to rob a restaurant called the Clifton Grill in Chicago. Except they went RIGHT during the Sunday lunch rush.
So when they told the owner they had a GUN and demanded money, he told them he was JUST TOO BUSY with customers . . . so if they came back in an hour when things were slower it would be better.
Guess what? Just guess! They actually DID IT.
One hour later, they showed up again. This time the owner was ready for them. He’d called the cops, and . . . they were right there waiting.
Both Mario and Domingo are facing aggravated robbery charges. The police also noted that Domingo's gun was really a squirt gun . . . and that Domingo is only FOUR-FOOT-EIGHT.
HE JUST HAD TO RUN THAT MOUTH
Monday, August 12, 2013
Any criminal who's THIS dumb and has this much bad luck was guaranteed to get caught.
25-year-old William Mavrides of Weymouth, Massachusetts had outstanding warrants for witness intimidation, larceny, and assault and battery.
On Thursday night, he was at a subway station and started talking to a random stranger. And William bragged that he was a WANTED CRIMINAL and would probably wind up in jail soon.
That happened even SOONER than William predicted . . . because the stranger he was bragging to was actually a plainclothes COP.
The cop arrested William and took him to jail.
WORST EXCUSE I'VE EVER HEARD!
Friday, August 9, 2013
This happened a few weeks ago but just came out now. Back on July 17th, police in Hutchinson, Minnesota busted a driver who was going almost THREE TIMES the speed limit.
41-year-old Richard Bernhagen of Darwin, Minnesota was doing 148 MILES-AN-HOUR in a 55 in his 2001 Ford Mustang.
When the cops pulled him over, he gave an excuse we've never heard before. He told them he HAD to go that fast because he was trying to AIROUT the car.
Quote, "I haven't driven it in a while and was airing it out. I was wrong." He "only" admitted to doing 135, though.
He's facing SEVERAL fines for speeding and reckless driving.
MIGHT WANNA READ THE INSTRUCTIONS
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
It ain’t EVER a good thing when actual police work resembles something you'd see in a "PoliceAcademy"movie.
About a year ago, the police in Shoshoni, Wyoming went to investigate a CATHOARDER named L.J. Faith. L.J. is blind and had a TON of cats.
But neighbors had complained that his place always reeked of cat pee, so the police chief and another officer went to check it out.
But L.J. didn't want to hear it, and started cursing at them. So the chief pulled out his TASER. Only he didn't exactly know how to use it . . . and ended up tasing HIMSELF in the hand.
He shot it again, and hit his partner in the FOREHEAD. Finally, he was able to reload it and hit L.J. twice. L.J. was arrested for interference with a peace officer causing injury, but the charges were eventually dropped.
L.J. just filed a lawsuit against the police department. He says his constitutional rights were violated, and the tasing made him temporarily more blind than he already is. Whatever that means. He's seeking a minimum of $1 million in damages.
NO! JUST . . . NO!
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Last week, 46-year-old John Bansley of Avon Lake, Ohio was cited on an open container charge. He'd bought a six pack of Milwaukee's Best at a convenience store and cracked one of them open outside.
He was drunk, so the cops dropped him off at his ex-wife's house . . . and gave her custody of the remaining five cans of Milwaukee's Best.
And shortly after that . . . John called 911 to report that his ex-wife wouldn't hand over his beer.
The 911 dispatcher told him to hang tight and a cop would head over. And THAT'S when he decided to hit on her. He said, quote, "Well, you got a personal phone number? You sound kinda pretty." She managed to just laugh that off.
John was arrested for misuse of the 911 system. He pleaded guilty and got five days in jail.
NO TURTLE . . . JUST SANDWICH!!
Thursday, August 1, 2013
Apparently we're not the only nation that's way too obsessed with our pets. On Monday morning, a man in China was trying to fly to Beijing, but had a problem with airport security.
Specifically, he was trying to smuggle his pet TURTLE onto the plane . . . by hiding it inside a SANDWICH in a KFC bag.
Security got suspicious when they saw an "odd protrusion" sticking out of the sandwich . . . and also when the man told them there was, quote, "no turtle in there, just a hamburger."
In case you're wondering, it appears that just like here . . . KFC's in China DO NOT sell hamburgers.
In the end, officials wouldn't let the man fly with his turtle, so he decided to leave it with a friend.
AWW . . . HOW ROMANTICAL
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
On Sunday, Brita West of Huntsville, Tennessee went to visit her boyfriend Willard Tinch in jail. And they were going to get MARRIED, right there at the jail.
But Brita kept asking the deputies if she'd be able to KISS Willard during the wedding.
Eventually, the deputies figured out WHY. While Brita was talking, her DENTURES fell out . . . and the deputies noticed a little BAG in her mouth.
Turns out she'd hidden some METH under her dentures, and planned to slip it to Willard during their wedding. That's quite romantic.
She was arrested on several drug and smuggling charges, and is now in jail herself. It also appears that the wedding did NOT end up happening.
SO MUCH STUPIDITY IN ONE STORY
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
On Monday, police in southern Australia pulled over a guy who was swerving all over the road . . . and there's a very good reason for that.
First of all, the car had two flat tires. But more importantly . . . no STEERING WHEEL.
Instead, the man driving the car was controlling it with a pair of PLIERS he'd clamped on to the steering column where the steering wheel would be.
As you may have guessed by now, the guy was on METH. He was also out on bail, and the incident added an impressive number of crimes to his rap sheet.
In addition to the drug stuff, he was charged with dangerous driving . . . driving a car that wasn't registered . . . and driving without insurance.
And police think he may have been involved in a separate HIT-AND-RUNincident, so he was also charged for that.
YEAH, UM . . . NO
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
The point of going to a palm reader is so they can read the unique patterns given to you by the stars. Or the gods. Or the star gods. Or . . . whatever. I ain’t so sure you're supposed to try to BEAT THE SYSTEM.
But that's exactly what people are doing in Japan. Apparently there's a new plastic surgery trend there where people get NEW LINES etched into their palms . . . so that they'll get better fortunes.
In palm reading, the lengths of different lines mean different things. So, let's say you really want to get married but your marriage line is short. Just have a plastic surgeon etch you a longer one.
The Shonan Beauty Clinic in Shinjuku, Japan says they've performed 37 palm line surgeries in the past few years. The surgery uses an electric scalpel, takes about 10 to 15 minutes . . . and costs around $1,000.
There's no word on whether any American plastic surgeons are performing palm line surgeries.
A GETAWAY TOW TRUCK?!
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
You know your burglary has gone bad when your only option is to call in a GETAWAY TOW TRUCK to help you out.
Last week, a man from Taunton, Massachusetts broke into a house in Foxboro, Massachusetts by taking an air conditioner out of the window and crawling in. He loaded up his pickup truck with TVs, electronics, some cash, and other stuff.
But when he tried to get away, his truck got stuck in some MUD. He tried a bunch of things to free it . . . including dumping rock salt under his tires, sliding planks of wood underneath, and even jamming a throw rug down there. But nothing worked.
So finally, he called a tow truck. He told the dispatcher he was helping his aunt move . . . which is why he had all the stuff in his truck . . . and got stuck.
The tow truck driver got his pickup free, but thought it seemed suspicious. He got even MORE suspicious after he unhooked his tow truck and the guy peeled out ACROSS THE LAWN instead of taking the driveway. So he called the cops.
They tracked the pickup back to its owners . . . who turned out to be the burglar's parents. They told the cops their son just got out of jail a few days earlier. The police are still looking for him.
YOU JUST DON'T HIDE MOMMA'S VODKA!!
Monday, June 17, 2013
51-year-old Kari Dangler of Key Largo, Florida has a Colt revolver, and clearly AIN'T shy about using it . . . because she threatened to shoot her ROOMMATES last week over a bottle of booze.
It seems that Kari's roommates had hidden her bottle of VODKA. Her precious, beloved bottle of vodka. So she DEMANDED to know where it was . . . at gunpoint.
And it wasn't necessarily an idle threat. Because earlier this month, she shot at some FROGS in her apartment complex . . . who were ribbitting too loudly. Seriously.
So her roommates called 911. When the cops got there, Kari initially denied owning the gun . . . but eventually ended up telling the cops that story about trying to shoot the frogs, and got caught in her own lies.
She was arrested and charged with aggravated assault.
YOU GOTTA MAKE SURE NO ONE'S LOOKIN'!
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Last week, in Lomza, in northeastern Poland, a news crew was doing a live report outside an apartment complex about some abusive parents who lived there. But those horrible parents aren't the story here today.
The apartment complex has some shops at the bottom, including a flower shop. And as the news crew was filming, a 30-year-old named Andrzej Czapka snuck up to the florist's window and STOLE a bouquet of roses off the ledge.
He didn't see the news crew filming, and the news crew didn't see him. But people watching the news report spotted it and reported it to the police.
They used the footage to track Andrzej down and arrest him.
He told them, quote, "I'd broken up with my girlfriend and I wanted to win her back with some flowers, but I had no money. I didn't even see the film crew." Here's the news clip of the theft. (Austrian Times / Gawker)
BROUGHT DOWN BY FACEBOOK
Monday, June 10, 2013
A few weeks back, Jim Engelking of St. Paul, Minnesota came home and found he'd been robbed. Thieves took his family's electronics, jewelry, BEER, frozen food . . . and his 1998 red Volvo.
Jim says he was most upset about the Volvo. Fortunately for him, the thieves didn't take it to be chopped up . . . they took it out SHOPPING instead.
They took it to a Goodwill, and parked it REALLY badly. They were crooked, halfway out of a spot, and touching a van's bumper.
And a woman who saw the parking job thought it was SO BAD, she posted it on Facebook with the caption, quote, "Nice park job, idiot."
Well . . . it turns out she's Facebook friends with Jim's DAUGHTER, Katie. Katie saw the Facebook photo, recognized her dad's car, and let her dad know.
The cops found the car there, but still haven't found the thieves. Jim says he's happy he's been reunited with his car, because it's his prized possession.
GET OUTTA MY WAY WOMAN!
Friday, June 7, 2013
If you've been to a kids' talent show in the past 25 years or so, you know that EVERY parent is taking a million photos and videos of the show. Which is why this brawl isn't a surprise at ALL.
Last week, there was a talent show at Lakeview Elementary School in St. Cloud, Florida.
A mother named Latisha James was taking pictures of her kid. A mother behind her named Jessica Tyler was upset that Latisha's camera was blocking HER view. So Jessica asked Latisha to move.
That was enough to spark an argument . . . which turned into a BRAWL. The women were fighting, yelling, and swearing in front of the kids. Other parents had to break it up.
Both women claim the other one started it. But since talent shows are covered from a MILLION different parents' video angles, the cops got a tape that shows Latisha was the one who got physical first.
She's facing battery charges and Jessica hasn't been charged. But both of them have been banned from school property.
Paying tribute to your sweet granny is not a crime. Unless you do something like this. Then, um yeah . . . it's a crime.
Last October, 51-year-old John Casey of Oxclose, Washington, England was busted for shoplifting an $18 package of beef from a grocery store.
He was on trial this week and explained WHY he stole that meat. Turns out when John was just a little boy, he and his grandmother used to go to the grocery store . . . and he would help HER shoplift.
His grandma has been dead for decades, but when John was walking through the meat section he had flashbacks to his childhood shoplifting trips with her . . . and decided to steal the beef in her memory.
Somehow, that defense didn't work. He was found guilty and got two years of probation.
YOUR TOES ARE FINE!
Thursday, May 23, 2013
About 20% of the world has a condition called "Morton's toe" . . . where your second toe is longer than your big toe. That's one out of five people . . . which means it's really not a big deal.
But a 38-year-old aspiring model in Middlesex, England named Denise Whylie STRONGLY disagreed.
Denise's second toe is longer than her big toe.
She also felt like her THIRD toe was longer than it should be. So she decided to spend about $7,500 on TOE REDUCTION SURGERY.
Unfortunately, Denise didn't have that kind of money lying around. So last year, she STOLE a credit card and used it to pay for the surgery.
It took about two months to sort it out. She was arrested for fraud and conspiracy to commit fraud.
Now Denise is on trial, and she could be facing prison time.
STUPID LOVE SPELL
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Earlier this month, 46-year-old Jose Laparra of Zaragoza, in northeast Spain, paid a fortune teller to put a LOVE SPELL on a woman . . . to make her fall in love with him.
And he paid $212,000 for the spell. Yes, $212,000.
For that kind of money, the fortune teller must've convinced him it was one HELL of a spell. But it wasn't. The woman did NOT fall in love with Jose.
So last week, he went to the fortune teller to demand a refund. And he really DEMANDED it . . . he and a few friends broke into the fortune teller's house and tried to FORCE her to pay the money back.
The cops got there quickly and arrested all of them.
If you're wondering where Jose got that kind of money from . . . he's a crook. He used to be the president of a soccer team in Spainand was accused of stealing $7.7 million. That case against him is still pending.
NO LIFEGUARD AT THE GENE POOL
Monday, May 20, 2013
Early on Tuesday, a drunk guy in his 20s went to a McDonald's in Cork, Ireland and ordered himself a Happy Meal.
And we're guessing in his drunken logic, he figured since he ordered a kid's meal, he should really sell the bit . . . so he tried to SQUEEZE into a McDonald's HIGH CHAIR.
But he got stuck, and couldn't get himself out. The staff called the police and THREE COPS showed up to help pull the guy out of the high chair. They WERE able to get him free. No charges are going to be filed.
McDonald's Ireland actually had a pretty good response to this. Quote, "McDonald's is aware of the incident . . . we recommend that children don't use the high chair without adult supervision."
PROPER MAINTENANCE IS VERY IMPORTANT
Thursday, May 16, 2013
I feel like if I was ever going to commit a crime, I'd make sure my getaway car was perfectly functional. I might even rent a car if my own car wasn't. This woman . . . was not that bright.
On Monday, a 42-year-old woman from Curtis, Michigan broke into the Chamberlin's Old Forest Inn in Portage Township, Michigan. She started loading up her car with food, dishes, silverware, and other kitchen supplies.
By the time she was done, her car was PACKED SOLID with stolen stuff. But when she tried to drive away . . . she couldn't find her keys.
Here's where her crappy car comes into play. The door latches on the inside DON'T WORK . . . so, to open her doors, she needs to roll down her window and use the outside handle. But she needed the keys to start the car to roll down the windows.
She was trapped until the police arrived, and was arrested for home invasion and larceny.
THERE'S A TIME AND PLACE . . . THIS AIN'T IT
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
As far as people freaking out on airplanes goes, this one's pretty solid.
Over the weekend, on an American Airlines flight from LAX in Los Angeles to JFK in New York, a female passenger apparently decided it was time to pay her respects to WHITNEY HOUSTON. RIP, Whitney.
So the woman started BELTING OUT Whitney songs. The flight attendants asked her to stop, but she kept going. Then they TOLD her to stop. But she kept singing.
So the pilot ended up DIVERTING the flight and making an emergency landing in Kansas City. . . where the woman was arrested.
Another passenger took a video of two cops escorting the woman off the plane . . . while she sings an off-key but heartfelt version of "I Will Always Love You".
Meanwhile, as she's being escorted off, the flight attendants are trying to tell people NOT to take pictures. Yeah, right.
The woman ended up being released without charges . . . but long after the flight was already on its way to New York. She blamed the incident on her diabetes, and the cops accepted that. She took another flight the rest of the way.
Here's the video of her being escorted off the plane.
ONE SPECIAL KINDA STUPID
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Thursday was a big day for 58-year-old Erin James of Brookfield, Illinois. She just got her license back after a DUI conviction last year. And to celebrate getting her driving privileges back . . . she went out DRINKING.
You can see where this is going. Her license renewal came to a very quick end . . . because a few hours later, she was pulled over driving herself home, and was arrested for drunk driving.
Erin blew a .155 on the breathalyzer, which is just about double the legal limit.
The police say Erin intentionally drove someone else's car to the bar because her car had one of those court-ordered breathalyzer ignition locks.
This time, Erin is looking at losing her license for TEN YEARS . . . and seven years in prison.
TUBS OF FUN TROUBLE
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
On Saturday, 30-year-old Henry Gribbohm of Epsom, New Hampshire hit up a travelling carnival in Manchester, New Hampshire. And like so many before him, he was seduced by BIG PRIZES and a sweet-talking CARNY.
He started playing one of those carnival games called Tubs of Fun, where you toss softballs into a plastic tub. His goal was to win an Xbox Kinect, the accessory for the Xbox 360 that lets you play games with motion control. It's worth about $100.
And before he knew it, Henry had lost $300. But he wasn't going to let that defeat him. So he went home, got his life savings . . . all $2,300 of it . . . and dumped ALL of it into Tubs of Fun. AND HE NEVER WON.
He complained to the carnival management, so they gave him a $600 refund . . . and a giant stuffed YELLOW BANANA with DREADLOCKS and a RASTA HAT. Which seems like more of an INSULT than a consolation prize.
So Henry complained to the POLICE that the game was rigged, and they're investigating. The carnival has moved on to Derry, New Hampshire, but WITHOUT Tubs of Fun . . . the game is suspended until the investigation is over.
For what it's worth, Tubs of Fun made a list of seven rigged carnival games, published in the "AARP Bulletin" last summer.
YOU GOTTA LICENSE FOR THAT THANG?
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Last week, 31-year-old William Daniel Lloyd of Gainesville, Florida grabbed his BB gun, and went out to hunt himself some SQUIRREL for dinner.
When he finally spotted a delicious squirrel, he fired. But there was a problem. His gun was broken, and couldn't hold the BB cartridge right. So William had TAPED it in place. That didn't work. And the cartridge EXPLODED.
William took BB gun cartridge shrapnel to his arm and leg, and was taken to the hospital and treated for injuries. The squirrel got away.
William was arrested for discharging a firearm in public and possession of ammunition by a convicted felon. He's got a long criminal history that includes everything from grand theft to drug possession.
EVER THINK IT MIGHT BE YOUR FAULT?
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Last year, DERRICK ROSE from the Chicago Bulls tore his ACL in the NBA playoffs and missed ALL of this season.
Rose is the Bulls' best player . . . but he isn't the REAL victim of this story. No . . . the real victim here is 25-year-old Matthew Thompson of Peoria, Illinois.
See, Matthew is a HUGE Bulls fan. And he says Rose's injury and the missed season caused him EMOTIONAL DISTRESS. And over the course of the season without Rose, he's gained a TON OF WEIGHT.
So now, he's SUING him. He says Rose slacked on his rehab, was negligent with his body, and SHOULD be playing since doctors cleared him last month.
Matthew is seeking an undisclosed amount.
The Bulls still made the playoffs this year. They finished 45-and-37, got the number five seed . . . and lost their first playoff game Saturday against the Brooklyn Nets.
THIS IS NOT THE WAY TO DO-IT-YOURSELF
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
It feels fantastic getting a HOT SHAVE from a barber. Seriously. It makes you wish it was 1908 and you were a Rockefeller so it could be part of your daily routine. But it's, probably, best left to the professionals.
On Wednesday, a 50-year-old man in Largo, Floridawanted to give himself the pleasure of a hot shave at home. So he decided to put his can of shaving cream on the kitchen STOVE, to heat it up.
Unfortunately, that's incredibly stupid, since pressurized metal cans are not meant to be heated up. And he learned that QUICKLY.
The can ended up EXPLODING IN HIS FACE . . . and he ended up with a face full of ALUMINUM SHARDS.
All things considered, he was lucky . . . he only had some cuts on his face and was hospitalized with minor injuries.
WHAT DID WE TELL YA'LL ABOUT APRIL FOOLS' PRANKS?!
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Every year before April Fools' Day, we try to remind you that NO prank is worth GETTING FIRED or ARRESTED over. This woman didn't get that message. And now, she's probably looking at both.
20-year-old Susan Alexandria Tinker is a Waffle House employee in Hampton, Virginia. Yesterday, around , Susan called 911 to report the place had been ROBBED.
When the cops got there, Susan told them it was an APRIL FOOLS' DAY prank, and they hadn't actually been robbed.
Unfortunately for her, what she did isn't a prank . . . it's a CRIME.
Susan was arrested for falsely summoning the police . . . and is facing up to ONE YEAR in jail and a $2,500 fine. There's no word on whether the Waffle House will let her keep her job.
WELL . . . AT LEAST HE'S WELL ORGANIZED
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
25-year-old Evan Dorsey of Weymouth, Massachusetts got arrested on Friday when police caught him trying to break into a house.
Despite the arrest, you can expect big things from Evan, because he is super focused AND organized. We know, because when the cops busted him, he was carrying a notebook that included his to-do list for the day.
He called the list, quote, "goals for Friday, 3/24/13" . . . even though Friday was actually March 22nd. Among his goals for the day were:
Find crystal meth . . . get a gold watch . . . commit a break-in or rob a dealer . . . sell drugs . . . and do one good deed for a stranger.
He's facing charges of breaking and entering, and has been ordered to undergo in-patient drug and alcohol treatment. He'll be back in court on April 22nd.
NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED IS HE?
Monday, March 18, 2013
Earlier this month, 31-year-old Alfredo Malespini of Bradford, Pennsylvania got into a drunken fight with his wife over his AFFAIR.
And during the fight, Alfredo wanted to take off his wedding ring . . . but couldn't get it off his finger. So he switched to Plan B, which was . . . grabbing his GUN and SHOOTING the ring off his finger.
Believe it or not, that turned out poorly. Alfredo ended up blowing off most of his finger . . . but amazingly, the ring STAYED ON the MANGLED STUMP that was left.
He was taken to the hospital. There's no word on whether the doctors were able to reattach or repair his finger.
Alfredo was also arrested and charged with disorderly conduct and reckless endangerment. He'll make his first court appearance next week.
Here's a photo of Alfredo. He works as a prison guard . . . or, at least, he used to before all this went down.
IT'S A SHAME THIS AIN'T ON VIDEO
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
If there was video of this, it would already be at 150 million views on YouTube.
Around on Sunday, 29-year-old Jamie Craft of Jonesboro, Arkansas was driving drunk in her 2001 Pontiac Grand Am. She ended up going off the road and SLAMMED into a guy's mobile home.
She got out of the car, where witnesses saw she wasn't wearing PANTS.
Her Pontiac was totaled, and she wanted to make a getaway. That's when she spotted a kid's BATTERY-OPERATED Power Wheels truck. She started trying to make a low-speed getaway in the truck but, obviously, it didn't work.
She was arrested with a blood-alcohol level of .217 . . . almost three times the legal limit. She's facing several charges.
THERE'S A TIME AND PLACE . . . THIS AIN'T IT
Monday, March 4, 2013
No matter how much you and your husband or wife fight . . . you'd THINK you could put it on hold while you're in the middle of committing a felony.
On Monday, 26-year-old Jared Rick and his wife, 25-year-old Ashley Rick, of Wamac, Illinois shoplifted more than $2,000 worth of stuff from a Walmart. And they would've gotten away with it, too.
Only when they got out to the parking lot with all their stolen stuff, they started arguing. LOUDLY. They were so loud they drew people's attention . . . and someone called the cops.
When the cops got there, they noticed all the stuff in the Ricks' car and got suspicious. They had Walmart check its surveillance tapes . . . which showed the Ricks shoplifting.
Both of them were hit with two counts of felony retail theft. They actually had their one- and three-year-old CHILDREN with them the entire time. Those kids have been turned over to a relative.
TURN THE LIGHTS OFF!!
Friday, March 1, 2013
Some roommate situations work out well. Others wind up with you getting stabbed. Remember that when you want to save a little rent money by finding a random roommate.
On Monday, 32-year-old Nicole Marie Wagner of East Lampeter Township, Pennsylvania got into an argument with her 31-year-old roommate.
Apparently, the roommate always left a bunch of lights on, and Nicole was upset about the electricity bill.
And the fight ended when Nicole grabbed a DECORATIVE SPEAR and STABBED her roommate in the BACK.
Fortunately, the roommate survived. Nicole was arrested for aggravated assault and terroristic threats.
SO . . . I GUESS THE ANSWER IS NO, YOU CAN'T
Friday, February 8, 2013
When the police strap a MONITORING BRACELET on someone, usually the instinct is to HIDE IT under long pants and high socks because it's a horrifying embarrassment. Not this woman.
22-year-old Rebecca Gallanagh of Tamworth, Staffordshire, Englandhad an electronic monitor strapped onto her ankle in November after she was convicted for brawling outside of a club.
And she decided to make it a FASHION STATEMENT. So Rebecca BEDAZZLED her police monitoring bracelet with fake diamonds.
When the monitoring staff checked in on her and saw it, they told the cops.
She was fined $220 by a judge for tampering with the ankle monitor.
DON'T HOG THE COVERS
Saturday, January 26, 2013
I'm sure that MILLIONS of couples get into arguments every single night over one person hogging the covers. But try to keep some perspective. This woman didn't.
On Wednesday night, 42-year-old Tina Berryhill Rucker of Myrtle Beach, South Carolina was in bed with her 49-year-old boyfriend. He kept pulling the majority of their blanket over to his side. And Tina responded by . . . CHOKING HIM OUT.
He got away and called the police, and they found BLOOD and SCRATCHES on his neck.
Tina was arrested for domestic violence. No word on who won the tug-of-war over the covers.
A GETAWAY DONKEY?!
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Maybe these guys should've started their crime spree by stealing a car. Or at least a muzzle.
In Juan de Acosta, Colombia, three thieves were busted robbing a store . . . because their GETAWAY DONKEY wouldn't shut up.
Last week, the three guys busted into a store in the middle of the night and started stealing food and liquor. But as they loaded up their getaway donkey, he started making noise.
According to the police, the getaway donkey kept HEE-HAWING, which woke up the neighbors. The men ditched the stuff they'd stolen and tried to take off, but the police caught them and arrested them.(The Telegraph)
CRACK DON'T SMOKE ITSELF
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
We're not experts on crack, but we know one thing: IT DON'T SMOKE ITSELF. Here's more proof:
50-year-old Carlos Sergio Valdes went to Henna Chevrolet in North Austin, Texas on Saturday and asked to test drive a 2013 Tahoe worth $40,000.
But he drove off in the Tahoe before the dealership gave him permission . . . and two hours later, he called the police to report that the car had been STOLEN.
Later in the day, police tracked down the stolen SUV and questioned the woman who was driving it. She said that she didn't STEAL the car . . . she TRADED for it.
Apparently Sergio offered her the car in exchange for two rocks of crack. He was arrested and charged with theft, and they may charge him with additional crimes. There's no word on what happened to the woman who gave him the crack.
JUST GO TO WORK BROTHA!
Thursday, January 10, 2013
This story HAS to be a metaphor for how your job OWNS YOUR SOUL.
On Tuesday morning, a 22-year-old man from Washington, Pennsylvania was on the way to work and decided to try to KILL HIMSELF. The man's name and job weren't released. Only his suicidal intentions.
First, he tried jumping out of his moving car. But he survived. So he went to Plan B . . . and hopped a guard rail, right into the path of a tractor-trailer. It hit him and knocked him out of his shoes . . . but he was able to WALK away.
Apparently, that was enough of a sign that this wasn't the morning where he was going to be able to successfully kill himself . . . so the guy grabbed his shoes, slid down a hill, and walked to work. WHERE HIS SOUL BELONGED.
He did end up going to the hospital, where he's still recovering.
HERE SHE COMES . . . NAW, WAIT . . . NEVERMIND
Friday, December 21, 2012
Maybe this woman let the pressure of being voted the most beautiful woman in the 408th largest city in America get to her?
22-year-old Sarah Richardson was crowned Miss Las Cruces, New Mexico last month. That makes her eligible to compete for Miss New Mexico . . . and then Miss America. But all that is OFF now.
Because on Sunday night, Sarah was driving her PT Cruiser while DRUNK . . . and CRASHED into a light pole in Las Cruces. That caused a chain reaction that took down several other poles.
She ended up knocking out power to 1,700 PEOPLE and businesses in the area for several hours.
Sarah was arrested for aggravated DWI and is facing up to 90 days in jail with at least a mandatory 48-hour sentence. Yesterday, she resigned as Miss Las Cruces.
Here's her mugshot. And, let's be honest, she's kinda cute, but . . . she also looks a little TOO happy.
NEKKID BEER PONG GONE BAD
Thursday, December 20, 2012
On Monday night, 19-year-old Jamar Darnell Thomas of Athens, Georgia was playing BEER PONG with his girlfriend at her apartment. And apparently it wasn't just regular beer pong . . . they were playing STRIP BEER PONG.
Jamar lost . . . so he stripped down naked. And while he was naked and drunk, he and his girlfriend started having a political debate. Or, as he described it, quote, "talking about Democrats and Republicans."
It got intense, things escalated, and apparently his girlfriend SLAPPED HIM and he pushed her into a door. The girlfriend's roommate called the cops.
When they got there, Jamar was still naked. He was arrested for battery and criminal damage to property.
WOW. JUST . . . WOW
Friday, December 14, 2012
Yeah, um . . . this guy is NEVER going to live this down.
On Tuesday, 22-year-old Benjamin Greene was in Spartanburg, South Carolina and went to a Spencer's Gifts store. He decided to try to shoplift an INFLATABLE ADULT LOVE DOLL. That's embarrassing enough.
But the specific blow-up doll makes it WAY worse. The doll is called "Finally Mylie" . . . and it's modeled after MILEY CYRUS.
The doll is unauthorized, of course. They spell Miley "M-y-l-i-e," and the box art features a woman who looks a LOT like Miley holding a guitar.
Benjamin was caught taking the doll out of the box and putting it in his coat. He was arrested for misdemeanor shoplifting. If he'd been willing to BUY the doll, Spencer's was selling it for only $19.99.
BEST DA OF THE DAY STORY . . . EVER
Thursday, December 13, 2012
This sounds like something straight out of a cartoon. But if it's true, it's a GREAT way to get out of doing housework . . . PERMANENTLY.
32-year-old Tomasz Packowski of Elbag, Poland was getting a lot of heat from his wife, Lila, about being USELESS around the house. So he decided to prove that he could do housework.
He grabbed all their clothes that needed ironing, set up the ironing board in front of the TV, turned on some boxing, and cracked a beer. Then he started ironing while he watched and drank.
At some point, his cell phone rang. And adding that FOURTH multitasking element was too much. So when he went to answer the phone, he accidentally held THE IRON up to his EAR instead.
When he ran to the bathroom to splash some cold water on it, he accidentally ran into the door, and got a black eye.
He was hospitalized with serious burns on his face, but is expected to fully recover. And he says he's never doing housework again . . . quote, "It's harder than it looks. I really respect what my wife does now."
ON YOUR WEDDING DAY?!
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
This sounds like something out of a movie. Except this guy ISN'T a hero who saved his wedding . . . he's a criminal. Because real life ain't Hollywood.
On Saturday, just before , police spotted 23-year-old Timothy Thompson of Valparaiso, Indiana driving over 100 MILES-AN-HOUR, and he wasn't even on the highway. He was weaving in and out of lanes and came close to crashing a few times.
He wouldn't pull over for the cops, but he finally pulled into the parking lot of Nativity of Our Savior Church . . . did a donut . . . and left a huge cloud of black smoke.
Turns out it was Timothy's WEDDING DAY . . . and he was speeding to get to the church on time for his wedding.
We don't know WHY he was so late, but we do know his relatives were FURIOUS.
The cops say several of them were SCREAMING at Timothy as he got out of the car.
He was arrested and did NOT get to be in his wedding before he was taken to jail.
AWW HELL NO!! BROTHA . . . WHAT WERE YOU THINKIN'?!
Monday, December 10, 2012
Want to know how to make TWO women simultaneously infuriated? Steal a ring from one to give to the other . . . because you're too cheap to buy her one yourself.
On Thanksgiving, 35-year-old Donald Albritton of Scranton, Pennsylvania went to visit his ex girlfriend, Megan White. Apparently Donald's daughter had stolen some stuff from Megan, and Donald wanted to thank her for not filing a police report.
BUT . . . while Donald was there apologizing for how his daughter stole from Megan, he saw that Megan had taken off her engagement ring to cook Thanksgiving dinner. And Donald STOLE it.
Then he went home and gave it to his new wife, to, quote, "patch up his marriage."
But Megan realized what had happened, and went to the police last week. Donald was arrested for theft and is due in court tomorrow. There's no word on whether giving his wife his ex's stolen ring successfully patched things up.
YOU CAN'T CALL 911 WHEN YOU'RE THE DA . . . GAH!
Friday, December 7, 2012
On Tuesday, around , 41-year-old Christopher Lance Moore broke into a home in Springtown, Texas. But before he could rob the place and get out, the guy who lives there WOKE UP.
His name is James Gerow. He says he was shocked to see Christopher in his house . . . but he quickly recovered and GRABBED HIS GUN.
When Christopher saw the gun, he took off running and got in his truck. But James and his stepson blocked him from leaving, and stood there with their guns pointed at him.
James told his stepson, quote, "If he gets out of the truck, shoot him in the legs." And THAT'S when Christopher decided his only move was . . . TO CALL 911.
He told the dispatcher, quote, "I'm out in the country somewhere. Some guy's got a gun on me. He's going to come shoot me." When the cops got there, they quickly figured out what had happened, and Christopher was arrested for burglary.
James told the cops he didn't really plan on shooting Christopher because it was obvious, quote, "he wasn't thinking clearly."
Yeah, um . . . clearly.
TALK ABOUT CHEAP!
Thursday, December 6, 2012
As hard as it is to find a good repairman, there have GOT to be better ways than KIDNAPPING ONE.
On Monday morning, 36-year-old Jason DeJesus and 33-year-old Chanelle Troedson called a 50-year-old handyman over to their house in Morgan Hill, California.
The house is 4,600 square feet and has five bedrooms, a pool, a tennis court, and a beach volleyball court. But it's not clear at ALL how Jason and Chanelle had the money for it . . . because they're apparently just petty criminals.
When the handyman got there, they BEAT HIM UP and threatened to KILL HIM if he didn't do a bunch of repairs for them. They made him work for six hours, fixing everything from a dishwasher to a broken door.
Then they made him get in their truck . . . so they could take him to a relative's house to do some repairs over there. Fortunately, when the couple stopped for gas, the man made a run for it and called the cops.
Jason and Chanelle were arrested and charged with several felonies, including false imprisonment, kidnapping, assault with a deadly weapon, criminal threats, and conspiracy.
LORD . . . I WISH I COULD'VE SEEN THIS!
Friday, November 16, 2012
This one SEEMS too good to be true, but we have no reason NOT to believe it.
Earlier this week, in a city in Western Australia called Geraldton, police were chasing a drunk 17-year-old who'd stolen a scooter.
And as the guy ran from them, he jumped over a fence into a random backyard. But he didn't realize the family who lived there had a TRAMPOLINE.
And when he jumped the fence, he landed on the trampoline . . . and bounced right back over the fence into the cops' arms. They grabbed him and arrested him.
He was arrested on seven charges, ranging from theft to drunk driving to operating a scooter without a helmet.
KEITH, I THINK YOU'RE MISSIN' THE POINT HERE
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Now, correct me if I’m wrong but . . . I thought the whole point of committing a crime was so you DIDN'T have to put in an honest day's work for an honest day's pay.
Last week, 45-year-old Keith Hinds of West Hartford, Connecticutstole a Chinese food delivery driver's car, when the driver left it idling to drop off some food at an elementary school.
And then . . . Keith KEPT MAKING THE DELIVERIES.
He went to all of the addresses on the bags in the car, dropped off the food, and took the money. He pocketed it, but still. No one in West Hartford missed out on their Chinese food that night.
The police caught Keith during his deliveries and arrested him for larceny. He also had some marijuana and a crack pipe on him, so he was charged for those too.(CBS News)
HONEY, IF YOU KILL HIM . . . HE CAN'T VOTE NEXT TIME!
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
I think this woman is VERY confused about how elections work. But she'll have a lot of time to research that in prison.
On Saturday, 28-year-old Holly Solomon of Mesa, Arizona got into a massive fight with her husband, Daniel. Turns out Daniel didn't vote. And Holly blamed HIM for PRESIDENT OBAMA's re-election.
Yes, even though MITT ROMNEY won the state of Arizona by more than 200,000 votes and STILL lost the election handily . . . it was Daniel's ONE vote that would've changed EVERYTHING.
Holly was upset because she believed their family was going to face hard times with Obama's re-election. So apparently she jumpstarted those hard times . . . by RUNNING OVER HER HUSBAND with her Jeep.
He’s still in critical condition, but is expected to make a full recovery. Holly was arrested for domestic violence and aggravated assault. She was NOT under the influence at the time.
Good thing when she's making no money in prison and her husband's still in the hospital. Obamacare will be there to keep him alive.
YOU, SIR . . . ARE NO FEDERAL AGENT
Monday, November 12, 2012
I could see someone committing a federal crime to get into Walt Disney World's MagicKingdom for free. MAYBE even Universal Studios. But not Epcot. Anything but Epcot.
Last week, 74-year-old Emerito Pujol of Miami, Florida was in Orlando and really wanted to get into Epcot for free. So he decided to IMPERSONATE A FEDERAL OFFICER to get in.
Emerito flashed a FAKE BADGE and said he was an undercover federal officer who was pursuing a suspect inside. When a second employee came over, Emerito changed the story and said he was, quote, "guarding someone important."
They called over a sheriff's deputy . . . and at that point, Emerito admitted he wasn't an officer. He got his fake badge for contributing to a nonprofit group called the American Federation of Police.
He was arrested for unlawful use of a police badge, falsely impersonating an officer, and petty theft. (Orlando Sentinel)
SHE PUT IT WHERE?!
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
In our line of work, we've seen stories about people hiding CRACK in basically every hole, flap, orifice, crevice, fold, and tunnel of their bodies. So it's VERY RARE for someone to find a new spot on the body to hide their crack.
That's why we're giving congratulations today to 49-year-old Kimberly Maroney of Punta Gorda, Florida. She may be a crackhead, but at least she's an innovative crackhead.
On Saturday, police pulled Kimberly over after they saw her drive away from a known crack house. They searched her and her truck but didn't find any crack.
But . . . they DID notice she was making strange motions with her tongue. A cop asked her to open her mouth, and saw she had dentures. He asked her to remove them, and when she did . . . he saw THREE CRACK ROCKS underneath.
That's right: She'd put the crack rocks in her toothless gums, then covered them with her dentures. Pretty creative. But not QUITE creative enough to get away with it.
She was arrested for drug possession.
CELEBRITY DA OF THE DAY
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
KELSEY GRAMMER hit up the Playboy Mansion Halloween party over the weekend . . . with his 3-month-old daughter Faith. (???)
TMZ says the baby was, quote, "tucked into her bassinet as the music blared" and Kelsey, quote, "whooped it up at a table next to PARIS HILTON just after ."
That did NOT sit well with Playmate MELISSA MAY. She Tweeted, quote, "Why the [eff] does Kelsey Grammer have a newborn baby at the Mansion party!?!?!?"
Here's a picture of Kelsey . . . minus the baby . . . at the party. (TMZ)
DON'T PUSH YOUR LUCK . . . WAIT, TOO LATE
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
If you rob a bank and they give you less money than you ask for, I ain’t so sure YOU should feel RIPPED OFF. But, that's exactly what happened to 28-year-old Arthur Bundrage of East Syracuse, New York. And it got him busted.
On Monday, Arthur went into an Alliance bank branch in Syracuse and demanded $20,000. The teller shoved some money in a bag and gave it to him, even though he didn't show a weapon or make a threat. Arthur left, and the teller called the cops.
Apparently, when Arthur got a chance to look in the bag, he realized the teller gave him LESS than the 20 grand he'd demanded. And he felt RIPPED OFF.
So, he went BACK to the bank to demand the rest of the money . . . WHILE the cops were there investigating the robbery.
He was arrested and charged with fourth-degree grand larceny.
DAMMIT MAN . . . JUST CALL IN SICK!
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Back on October 10th, a police officer in San Antonio, Texas spotted a car parked by the side of the road. When he looked inside, he saw 48-year-old Sheila Bailey Eubank tied up with ROPE.
She told the cop a man had jumped into her car while she was at an ATM. He held a knife to her throat and forced her to drive him around so he could make drug deals. Then he choked her with the rope, tied her up, and left her.
The cops started searching for the drug dealer, but they didn't find him. What they DID find was a lottery ticket in Sheila's possession that she'd bought during the hours she was supposedly being held at knifepoint.
And surveillance footage from the ATM and a convenience store showed she wasn't carjacked. She was just running errands.
When the cops confronted her, Sheila admitted she'd made the entire thing up. She said she just WANTED ATTENTION . . . and, quote, "a day off from work." It's not clear who helped her by TYING HER UP or if she somehow did it herself.
She was arrested for a felony charge of aggravated perjury.
AT LEAST SHE PLANNED AHEAD
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
From my perspective, it looks like this woman had her entire night planned when she went out shoplifting.
On October 6th, 52-year-old Karen Bartlett of Palm City, Florida went to a Publix grocery store and shoplifted a LARGE CHEESE LOG.
But you know what happens when you eat an entire log of cheese. It BLOCKS YOU UP. So Karen planned to give herself some relief . . . by also shoplifting LAXATIVES.
But a security guard saw her steal the cheese log and the laxatives, and called the cops. She was arrested for misdemeanor retail theft.
IT AIN'T THE LINGERIE'S FAULT!
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Look, lady . . . it ain’t the LINGERIE'S FAULT your boyfriend dumped you.
42-year-old Jennifer Colwell of DanaPoint, California and her boyfriend broke up earlier this week. And it was a BAD breakup, especially for Jennifer. And her grief took a VERY strange form.
During the relationship, Jennifer's boyfriend had bought her a lot of LINGERIE from a store called Intimate Obsessions. Around on Tuesday, Jennifer gathered up all the lingerie, put it in a pillowcase, and headed to the store.
Then she SOAKED the pillowcase of lingerie in GASOLINE, set it on FIRE, and threw it at the store. Her goal was to use it as a sexy Molotov cocktail to BURN DOWN THE STORE.
Fortunately, firefighters got there before the fire spread too much and put it out. Jennifer was arrested and charged with FELONY ARSON.
THAT'S MARKETING . . .
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
You'd think rule number one of running a meth lab is that you don't make a big sign advertising your meth lab. That MIGHT draw attention.
On Friday morning, police in Memphis, Tennessee spotted a driver in a red pickup truck with the words "METH LAB" written on his back windshield and driver's side window.
They pulled him over and, believe it or not . . . the truck actually WAS a mobile meth lab.
Hazmat crews ended up removing all the dangerous chemicals from his truck. The driver was arrested on outstanding warrants and for new meth charges.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Manatees are beautifully ugly and gentle animals. And because they're not particularly good at protecting themselves, there are laws set up to protect them. In Florida it's illegal to, quote, "annoy, molest, harass, or disturb" a manatee.
This woman did NOT know that.
On Sunday afternoon a woman was photographed taking a JOYRIDE on a MANATEE'S BACK in Fort De Soto, Florida.
She's ain't exactly a small woman either but the police say it doesn't appear the manatee she rode was hurt.
The police are looking for her. She's facing a second-degree misdemeanor charge for manatee riding which is punishable by up to 60 days in jail and a $500 fine. (NBC 5 - West Palm Beach)
DON'T MESS WITH MOMMA'S CATS!
Monday, October 1, 2012
The stereotypical "crazy cat lady" doesn't get married. She lives alone in a hoarder house with anywhere from 17 to 74 cats, until she dies and the cats go feral and stay alive by eating her corpse.
And maybe that's for the best . . . because THIS is what happens when a hardcore cat lady gets married.
On Tuesday morning, 42-year-old Audrey Deen Miller of Spring, Texas was at home with her husband. And for whatever reason, he threatened to shoot one of her cats with a PELLET GUN and throw it over a fence.
So Audrey grabbed her REAL gun, a .40-caliber semiautomatic handgun, and SHOT her husband in the stomach. Police say, quote, "The husband was trying to do something to the cat and the wife was just trying to protect her cat."
The husband was rushed to the hospital in stable condition. He ended up leaving in his hospital gown and heading back home, but he couldn't get in because the police had Audrey and he didn't have keys.
The police found several other cats at the house, plus some dogs and some marijuana. Audrey was arrested and charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. The cat was fine.
TAKE A NAP BEFORE WORK BROTHA
Monday, October 1, 2012
I've never robbed a house. But if I did, I assume my adrenaline would be at an all-time high. AND I'd be whistling the "Mission: Impossible" theme song the whole time. Not this guy.
On Friday, 20-year-old Cristian Villarreal-Castillo broke into a house in Hillsboro, Oregon. After he grabbed a few small electronics, he apparently decided to lay down on the kitchen floor and go to sleep.
When the guy who lived there came home, he found Cristian sleeping on his kitchen floor and called the cops.
Cristian was arrested for burglary, attempted theft, trespassing, and criminal mischief. He was also linked to a break-in earlier that day . . . but he didn't fall asleep during that one.
I ALMOST FEEL BAD FOR THIS GUY
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
A few months ago, 19-year-old Dakoda Garren of Vancouver, Washington was doing some odd jobs at a home in Woodland, Washington. And while he was in the house, he stole a box of coins.
The coins were a rare and valuable collection worth about $100,000. But Dakoda didn't know that. He just thought they were regular face value quarters and silver dollars.
So he spent them . . . on PIZZA and MOVIE TICKETS. One of the coins he spent at the pizza place was a Libertyquarter worth approximately $18,500. He used it as an actual quarter, worth 25 cents.
Fortunately, someone at the movie theater had heard about the missing coins and a reward for whomever found them.
They called the police, who already suspected Dakoda . . . and last week, they were able to connect him to the pizza and the movie. He was arrested and charged with first-degree theft.
I'M JACK SPARROW!!
Friday, September 21, 2012
I'm glad I wasn't the judge in this case. Because I would've been LAUGHING SO HARD, this woman would've gotten a mistrial.
51-year-old Alison Whelan of Devon, England was in court this week for an incident that happened last September. Alison was on a two-day drinking bender, AND high on some hallucinogenic drugs. And she and a friend were looking for a place to crash.
They stumbled down toward a river and Alison decided to STEAL A BOAT. As she tried to unhook it from the dock, the cops arrived. Which is when Alison uncorked one of the best real-life criminal catchphrases possible.
She yelled at the cops, quote, "I'M JACK SPARROW!" Then she tried to drive off in the boat.
If you don't get the reference, Jack Sparrow is JOHNNY DEPP'S pirate character in the "Pirates of the Caribbean"movies. So it was actually a pretty on-point reference to make while drunk, high, and stealing a boat.
Anyway, Alison only floated a short distance before the police stopped the boat. And this week she was sentenced to four months in prison for aggravated vehicle theft.
THIS IS NO LOLing MATTER!
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Back on July 20th, 18-year-old Paula Asher of Woodford County, Kentucky T-BONED another car carrying four teenagers. Yup . . . she was DRUNK, and drove off. Cops quickly tracked her down and arrested her for a DUI, and the hit-and-run.
And when Paula got home, she decided her first move should be . . . telling her friends on Facebook what happened. So she posted, quote, "My dumb [a**] got a DUI and hit a car . . . LOL."
Thank the Good Lord, none of the teenagers she hit were KILLED. But when their parents found out that Paula was publicly LOLing over hitting them, they alerted the county.
On August 14th, Paula was in court and the judge told her to deactivate her Facebook account. Paula didn't. So the judge just hit Paula with TWO DAYS IN JAIL for CONTEMPT OF COURT.
Those two days will probably seem like nothing compared to what she gets for being an underage drunk driver who committed a hit-and-run . . . but the "LOL" post on Facebook and refusing to delete her account definitely won't help her get leniency.
FRIES WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN MY FIRST CHOICE
Thursday, September 6, 2012
So, you've got $1,200 in counterfeit $50 bills. What's the first thing you buy? Well, Sunday night, ole Larry J. Jones of Buffalo, New York decided to take all that counterfeit money and go buy himself . . . some French fries.
Maybe he made the clerk at the restaurant suspicious because he was trying to buy a few dollars worth of fries with a 50. Maybe he made the clerk suspicious because they were really bad forgeries. But either way, the clerk told security.
They held Larry until the cops could come. And during that brief window of time, Larry decided to try to EAT the counterfeit money to destroy the evidence. Or maybe he was hungry because he didn't get his fries?
The security guards got the bills out of his mouth before he could properly chew and swallow them. Larry was arrested for criminal possession of a forged instrument, and tampering with physical evidence, both of which are felonies.
CRANK IT UP . . . GET ARRESTED
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
There's only one way to play AC/DC music. And that's with the volume jacked up to WAKE UP THE NEIGHBORS. 53-year-old Joyce Coffey of Epping, New Hampshire is living proof.
Last Tuesday afternoon, Joyce's neighbors called the cops because Joyce was BLASTING "Highway To Hell". The police arrested her for a noise violation.
A few hours later, she was home and blasting music again. It's not clear if it was AC/DC . . . but it IS clear that it was loud enough to get her neighbors to call the cops. So she was arrested again.
A few hours later, she was home again. And AGAIN, she was blasting music. She was arrested AGAIN.
And finally, she was home again and THREW A FRYING PAN at her nephew. Which got her arrested AGAIN, for the fourth time in 26 hours. This one actually stuck and the cops decided NOT to release her right away.
WHERE BEAUTY AND BULLETS COLLIDE
Friday, August 24, 2012
50-year-old Jeffrey Eberhart of Augusta, Kansas and his 41-year-old wife Tracey own a GREAT business. Tracey's Dream Weavers Salon and Sporting Goods. It's a hair salon . . . AND a gun store.
The slogan on their website is "Where beauty and bullets collide." But let's hope they're better at hair styling than gun sales.
When Tracey got them a federal license to sell guns, she never mentioned her husband. And there was a reason. Jeffrey was convicted of felony arson in 1982 . . . and as a felon, it's illegal for him to own guns.
By opening the store, Jeffrey is now in possession of a TON of guns.
The ATF found out about Jeffrey's involvement at a gun show in January, and started an investigation. On Wednesday, Tracey was charged with aiding a felon in possessing firearms, and providing firearms to a convicted felon.
Jeffrey was charged with unlawful possession of a firearm as a felon and dealing firearms without a license. Tracey could get up to 20 years in federal prison and $500,000 in fines . . . Jeffrey could get 15 years and $500,000 in fines.
Thursday, August 23, 2012
I reckon this is a great way to get your husband to stop acting like an idiot.
On Monday, a woman from La Crosse, Wisconsin says her 53-year-old husband was annoying her. Apparently he was, quote, "talking stupidly" and wouldn't stop swearing.
So the woman decided she was going to get him to stop . . . by pulling into a police station and turning him in for his two outstanding warrants.
She pulled into the La Crosse police headquarters, got out, told the officer about her husband . . . and they arrested him.
There's no word what the warrants were for, what kind of sentence he's looking at . . . or what exact stupid things he was saying.
YOU LOOK LIKE WHO?
Thursday, August 16, 2012
People don't suspect KURT COBAIN is secretly alive the way they do with Elvis or 2Pac or Andy Kaufman. But I'll tell you this: If Cobain IS still alive, he's probably not hiding in plain sight by working at Denny's.
Early Monday, police in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina found a man drunkenly passed out in the hallway of a hotel.
When they woke him up, he told them he was KURT COBAIN. And actually, he does kinda look a little like Kurt Cobain. Maybe. A little.
But when the cops searched his wallet, they found he WASN'T actually Cobain. He was 22-year-old Ernest Evens of Conway, South Carolina. . . who works at a DENNY'S and not as the frontman of one of the world's most legendary bands.
Ernest was arrested for public intoxication AND for providing police with a false name.
WHA . . . ?! HE WAS WEARIN' FLIP-FLOPS??!!
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
51-year-old George Boedecker of Boulder, Coloradois one of the founders of CROCS. He's a multimillionaire thanks to the world's inexplicable love of hideously ugly, yet comfortable, brightly-colored rubber clogs. And apparently . . . he's also delusional.
On Sunday, the cops got a call about Boedecker driving drunk in his Porsche. By the time they got there, he'd pulled over and was asleep in the driver's seat. And when the cops woke him up, Boedecker told them they had it wrong.
He told them HE wasn't driving drunk, it was his girlfriend . . . TAYLOR SWIFT. Yup, THE Taylor Swift.
Obviously Taylor Swift isn't actually his girlfriend . . . we're guessing he's never even met her. He was just really drunk . . . and ranting. He also repeatedly cursed out the cops and told them they'd just become his enemies for life.
He was arrested for drunk driving. And the police report mentions he was wearing flip-flops at the time of his arrest . . . NOT Crocs.
NERDIEST FELONY EVER
Monday, August 13, 2012
19-year-old Humza Bajwa is a student at FordhamUniversity in New York City. And he's a GIANT fan of a video game called "RuneScape".
It's one of those massive multiplayer online role playing games roughly similar to "World of Warcraft" . . . even though I'm sure its fans would laugh until their asthma kicked in if they heard us make that comparison.
Last month, Humza wanted to get more gold coins in "RuneScape". One of his classmates had a ton of coins.
So Humza arranged a meeting with the guy to pay cash for the coins . . . but showed up with a realistic-looking BB GUN, held it to the guy's head, and demanded 4.7 billion in "RuneScape" coins.
The guy transferred the coins . . . then called the police. And even though Humza committed a robbery for fake coins using a fake gun . . . he's looking at up to 15 YEARS in REALPRISON for second-degree robbery and grand larceny.
DON'T SLAP THE BURNT BUTTOCKS
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
On Monday night, 24-year-old Tiffany Sherry of Bethlehem, Pennsylvania was doing the dishes. Her boyfriend, Michael Martinez, came up behind her and gave her a SLAP on the BUTT.
Tiffany was BADLY sunburned on her buttocks from the weekend . . . and Michael knew it . . . but he slapped her anyway.
She was FURIOUS . . . so she picked up a STEAK KNIFE and STABBED Michael in the shoulder and the stomach.
He was taken to the hospital for treatment. She was arrested and is facing several charges.
Believe it or not, this AIN'T the first time Tiffany has used silverware to assault someone. In 2008 she stabbed a man with a fork during an argument.
NO POLITICS ON FACEBOOK
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Here's exhibit number 43,985 for why Facebook and politics just don't mix.
Last weekend, 38-year-old Crystal Gray of Clinton, Tennessee posted a photo of MITT ROMNEY on her Facebook page. Turns out her 40-year-old boyfriend Lowell Turpin has no idea who that is.
So he FLIPPED OUT . . . and thought Crystalposted the photo because she was HAVING AN AFFAIR with the handsome dude she'd just put on Facebook.
They got into an argument, and he wasn't buying her claims that the photo was of a guy running for president. So he ended up SMASHING her computer against a wall.
Turpin was arrested for domestic assault. And by the way, according to the police report, he's 5-foot-8 . . . 310 pounds.
DANG . . . JUST SAY YOU ATE SOME BAD CHICKEN!
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Hasn't this guy ever heard of faking a fever to get out of work early? Or making up a doctor's appointment? ANYTHING but this.
24-year-old Casey James Fury of Portsmouth, New Hampshirewas a civilian contractor who was working on one of the Navy's NUCLEAR SUBMARINES. On both May 23rd and June 16th, he wanted to get out of work early.
So his strategy was . . . to START FIRES. On a NUCLEAR sub.
According to an affidavit filed yesterday, he did about $400 MILLION in damage between the two fires. He said he wanted to get out of work because he suffers from anxiety, and his ex-girlfriend had just started dating another man.
On both days, he DID get out of work early. And as a reward, he's facing a possible sentence of . . . LIFEIN PRISON for arson. That's right. Life.
LET 'EM SWING FREE!!
Thursday, July 19, 2012
How is it possible no one got a photo of this with their cell phone. Shame on you, people of Upper Darby, Pennsylvania.
On Saturday, at , security guards at a Pathmark grocery store in Upper Darby spotted 26-year-old Aishana Clayton shoplifting a package of diapers. They grabbed her . . . and she fought back.
In the process, she got free . . . but one of the guards grabbed a handful of her shirt. It RIPPED OFF and she wasn't wearing a bra. So Aishana ran out of there, TOPLESS.
As the police report says, (and I absolutely LOVE this line) quote, "Her breasts were swinging as she ran to the car."
She sped off, still topless. Police found her car abandoned nearby . . . she must've left it and ran off, STILL TOPLESS. Somehow, she's still on the lam . . . police are looking for her.
YEAH . . . THE TSA WON'T LIKE THAT
Thursday, July 12, 2012
So you get to the airport and realize you brought your GUN. You don't want the TSAto confiscate it but you don't have time to take it home or you'll miss your flight. WHAT DO YOU DO? The answer is . . . not this.
On June 24th, 69-year-old Soren Muir Johnson of Eagle Point, Oregon was flying out of Portlandand realized he had his loaded gun with him.
So he came up with a BRILLIANT plan: He'd hide the gun underneath a PLANTER BOXin the airport. That way, he could just grab it when he got back from his trip.
But security watched him hide the gun . . . and he was arrested for reckless endangerment.
By the way, if you find yourself in this situation, you AREallowed to put a gun in your checked luggage. You have to declare it when you check in, the gun can't be loaded, and it has to be in a hard, locked container.
THE BLINDS? REALLY?!
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
This sounds like something you'd see in a slapstick British comedy Benny Hill movie.
It actually happened to this idiot in real life.
On Sunday, 38-year-old Thomas Molina of Albuquerque, New Mexico tried to break into CentralNew MexicoCommunity College to steal some computer equipment.
But when he broke through the window, he got trapped . . . by some WINDOW BLINDS.
He got tangled in the blinds so badly that he couldn't get away. The police came, got him out of the blinds, and arrested him.
He's been charged with burglary and breaking and entering. Sadly . . . there's no picture of Molina trapped in the blinds.(CBS 13 - Albuquerque)
WAIT . . . YOU STOLE WHAT?!
Monday, July 9, 2012
Usually when you think about a heist this elaborate, you picture professional thieves breaking into a bank or an art museum or something. You DON'T expect this.
Around Saturday, three highly-skilled thieves in Chicago pulled off a "MissionImpossible" style heist to steal . . . HAIR EXTENSIONS. $230,000 worth of hair extensions!!
The thieves broke into an empty store that was next door to the beauty supply shop they were targeting, called 35th StreetBeauty Supply.
They broke through the wall, then carefully crawled through the beauty supply store to avoid its LASER MOTION DETECTORS.
Then they filled six duffel bags with the store's most valuable hair extensions. The store owner says the thieves, quote, "knew what they were doing" since they only stole his best stuff, made from real hair.
WELL . . . THAT JUST STINKS
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Here's the problem with stealing a ridiculous amount of garlic. When you're hauling it away, you're going to STINK like garlic, and everyone who comes within a mile of you is going to SMELL YOU. You just can't hide that smell.
Five thieves from Romania clearly didn't realize that.
Earlier this week, they stole 9.5 TONS of garlic from a warehouse in Spain. That's 19,000 POUNDS of garlic. They loaded it into three vans . . . then started driving across Europe toward Romaniawith the garlic in tow.
They made it through France and Slovenia without getting caught . . . but as they drove through Austriaand hit the Austrian-Hungarian border, police stationed there caught the OVERPOWERING STENCH of garlic.
They searched the three vans . . . which were apparently SAGGING from the weight of all the garlic . . . and confiscated all of it. The value was about $37,500. All five men were arrested for receiving stolen goods.
The men were from the Transylvania region of Romania. And no, they didn't steal the garlic to ward off Dracula. Garlic is popular with tourists who visit, so it's believed they planned to sell it.
Monday, June 25, 2012
It's always nice to see fathers and sons doing things together. Even this.
About Friday morning, a 39-year-old man and his 18-year-old son were home in Anchorage, Alaska. And apparently, they were doing some father-son bonding over marijuana, LSD, and ecstasy. Their names weren't released.
Eventually that father-son bonding turned into arguing . . . over a woman they both apparently liked. Then they started arguing over who was going to get to do the rest of the drugs. And THEN things got ugly.
First the 18-year-old stripped NAKED, and then the father stripped down naked too. Then they started wrestling. They WRECKED their house, CRASHED through a front window, and kept brawling naked in the street.
Then they took their anger out on the neighborhood. One neighbor says the 18-year-old, quote, "just snapped off [my mailbox]. Then he drop-kicked my pickup a couple times. I didn't see any damage to it. Of course, he was barefoot."
Both men were arrested for assault. The father also got a resisting arrest charge and the son got a criminal mischief charge.
QUIT YELLIN' AT ME!!
Thursday, June 21, 2012
If a couple starts screaming threats at each other for long enough, there's a good chance the cops will show up. But you'd think they'd have to actually be SCREAMING those threats . . . not just writing them in ALL CAPS.
That's apparently what happened last week in Montgomery City, in eastern Missouri. Police responded to a domestic violence complaint where a couple was home and fighting . . . but only by sending angry TEXT MESSAGES to each other.
We're not sure who called the cops, but when they got there, one of the people showed them their phone, so the police could read the whole argument.
The cops decided that no serious threats had been made, so no domestic violence charges were filed over the angry text argument.
LADIES, PLEASE DON'T MAKE YOUR MAN TAKE THE COSMO QUIZ!
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Here's a great reason not to force your boyfriend or husband to take one of those horrible quizzes in "Cosmopolitan". Not only does it make him briefly consider killing himself . . . but if things go wrong, it might make YOU try to kill him.
That's exactly what went down on Sunday in Mesa, Arizona. 22-year-old Noelle Clough and her husband were doing a quiz in "Cosmo" about their EXES. That's a pretty volatile thing to take a quiz on . . . and it exploded.
It's not clear what exactly they were saying that made each other angry . . . although we can guess one or both of them made it clear they still had some feelings for their exes. But things got UGLY.
Eventually, Noelle's husband threw two kitchen knives across the floor and told her to STAB HIM. And she DID . . . she stabbed him in the back with a four-inch paring knife.
The cops say they'd been drinking. The husband was not seriously injured from the stabbing . . . Noelle was arrested on suspicion of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.(AZ Family)
We hear about brawls at weddings all the time over here, but usually they're at low-budget affairs. You don't usually hear about them happening at $60,000 weddings in fancy British castles.
That's exactly what happened over the weekend. 25-year-old Danny Gutherie is a professional British soccer player, and on Sunday he got married to 23-year-old Rebecca Middleman at the AllertonCastle near Harrogate, England.
According to reports, even though it was an expensive and upscale wedding, everyone was HAMMERED drunk . . . and as people were sitting down to dinner, a fight broke out.
How do people fight at a classy wedding? In this case, it started with them THROWING LOBSTERS at each other . . . then ended when someone PUNCHED the bride in the FACE.
She was taken to the hospital. Police came to break things up, although they didn't say if any arrests were made. Then ended up having to come back two more times when MORE problems broke out.
WHO'S THE BETTER MEXICAN?!
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
In West Palm Beach, Florida, a man attacked another man over who's the, quote, "BETTER MEXICAN." It's virtually impossible to do something like that without painfully reinforcing tired stereotypes . . . which this idiot seemed happy to do.
The fight happened months ago, but arrests were just made on Sunday.
Back in March, 26-year-old Rudy "El Caballo" Yhoan showed up at a 35-year-old man's house. That man's name wasn't released, but he says he didn't know Rudy.
Rudy declared he was a, quote, "better Mexican" . . . and thought he'd prove it by pointing a GUN and threatening to shoot. Then he told the 35-year-old he'd shoot him the NEXT time he saw him and drove off.
Then on April 9th, Rudy saw the same guy riding his bike . . . and tried to run him over. The man jumped off his bike, and Rudy attacked him.
Rudy was arrested for aggravated battery and two counts of aggravated assault. The 35-year-old had some bad cuts and bruises.
MUST HAVE BEEN ONE FUNNY JOKE
Monday, June 4, 2012
When this ole boy get's on cell-block 12 . . . he better have a better story than THIS.
SHOULDA CALLED TRIPLE-A
Thursday, May 31, 2012
I love when a DINE-AND-DASH goes wrong. Because people are always good at the dining part . . . but keep coming up with new ways to botch the dashing aspect.
Here's the latest. Earlier this week, four teenagers were at a restaurant called Cinderella's in Sylvan Beach, New York. They ate their meal . . . then took off without paying the bill.
But when they got to the car, their plan fell apart. Turns out the 17-year-old girl who was driving had LOCKED HER KEYS in the car.
They thought about calling Triple-A, but decided it would take too long. So they idiotically went with option two, going to a police station down the street for help.
By that point, employees from the restaurant had called the cops and filled them in on what happened . . . and all four were arrested for theft of services.
IT AIN'T BRAIN SURGERY
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
People generally think pretty highly of brain surgeons and their intelligence. Like, if you want to say something's easy, you say "It doesn't take a brain surgeon" to do it. But this guy might singlehandedly ruin that reputation.
Dr. Steve Carr is a brain surgeon in Denver, Colorado. Last month, he and his girlfriend Mary were on vacation in Naples, Florida . . . and he wanted to propose to her.
So he decided to BURY the engagement ring in the sand, take Mary to the beach, dig up the ring, and propose. But when they got to the beach . . . he couldn't remember where he'd buried the ring.
We're not sure if he didn't mark the spot or what, but when he couldn't find the ring, he started digging. So he told Mary what happened, and SHE started digging. Then OTHER people on the beach started digging. But no one could find the ring.
After two hours, they went online to find a local 'ring finder'. Yes, there's actually a nationwide 'Ring Finder' network that handles this kind of thing.
A guy named Larry Spearing showed up with a metal detector, and was able to find the ring. There's no word on what he charged. Steve proposed to Mary, and for some reason she still said yes.
I'M HEARTBROKEN THERE'S NO VIDEO!
Friday, May 25, 2012
I'm legitimately heartbroken that no one captured this fight on camera. It could've been the viral video that broke the Internet.
On Tuesday afternoon, a man in Athens, Georgia was furious. He'd lent a 74-year-old guy $5, and the guy hadn't paid him back.
So he grabbed his GUN . . . grabbed his small dog Benji . . . got in his WHEELCHAIR . . . and rolled over to a nearby TRAILER PARK to confront the guy about the loan.
When he got there, he found the man sitting NAKED in his trailer. The two guys got into a shouting match. You know . . . just your classic "guy with a small dog in a wheelchair" versus "naked 74-year-old at the trailer park" matchup.
Eventually the man in the wheelchair threatened to SHOOT the 74-year-old over the five bucks, so the 74-year-old called 911. The cops got there just as the men were throwing their canes at each other.
No one was hurt and no arrests were made.
TAMPONS AND DRAWERS? REALLY?!
Friday, May 25, 2012
Earlier this week, a woman named Cameron Holcomb in Lexington, Tennessee came home and found someone had broken into her house. But whoever it was had a STRANGE priority list for the burglary.
A whole bunch of little things were missing, including ALL of Cameron's bras and underwear, a coloring book, cleaning supplies, laundry detergent, a frog-shaped shower mat, and boxes of tampons.
The burglar DIDN'T take Cameron's LAPTOP, or any of her expensive jewelry.
Cameron immediately suspected her neighbor, whose actual name is Stormy Winters-Moody. When the cops went to Stormy's house, she was wearing Cameron's shirt and shorts. No word on the underwear.
Stormy was arrested and charged with aggravated burglary, and theft over $1,000. Cameron is still going through her house trying to figure out what's missing.
CUT THAT YARD WOMAN!
Monday, May 21, 2012
Before we get into this, it's important to note that a Chevy van is about six-and-a-half feet tall. Picture one of those vans that kidnappers always drive in movies. THAT'S the type of Chevrolet van we're talking about here.
On May 14th, a 78-year-old woman in Dacula, Georgia, called the police to report that her late husband's 1973 Chevy van had been STOLEN from her front yard.
The woman told the cops that the van was inoperative . . . and she was positive the doors had been locked . . . yet it had just disappeared.
Later that day, she called the police back to tell them she'd FOUND the van. And I hope she was at least a LITTLE embarrassed over what happened.
It turns out the woman wasn't much for landscaping . . . and her tall grass and weeds had grown SO HIGH they'd COMPLETLEY covered up the van. The van that's about six-and-a-half feet tall.