If you're hosting a Super Bowl party this Sunday, make sure you've got everything you need BEFORE the game starts. No one wants to run out at halftime and miss Madonna lip-synching.

#1) Enough People. There's never been a "great" Super Bowl party where only three people showed up. But at the same time, you also don't want a roomful of people who don't even LIKE football.

Great Super Bowl parties have a mix of passive football fans, and a few CRAZY fans to keep the energy level up.

#2) At Least a 42-Inch High-Definition TV. That's according to the website MidwestSportsFan.com . . .  but it's probably about right. People EXPECT a big TV at a Super Bowl party. So if you don't have one, see if you can borrow one from a friend or a neighbor.

And if you do, obviously make sure you INVITE them.

#3) Enough Beer. Again, you don't want to run out in the middle of the game. It depends on the crowd, but to be safe figure at least five beers per person.

That's assuming it's a mix of men and women, and some of them won't drink at all. If your friends are total lushes, obviously buy more. Just don't let them drive.

#4) Lots of Food. Chips and dip, or chips and salsa are the one snack you absolutely HAVE to have. But definitely make sure there's a main course too. Since you're offering alcohol, there needs to be plenty of food to soak it up.

#5) Plenty of Soft Chairs. If you've got 10 people coming, don't make five of them sit on folding chairs for three-and-a-half hours.  Obviously ANY chair is better than NO chair. But if it's possible, have a cushioned seat for every person.

#6) Something Else to Do at Halftime. A lot of people don't care about the halftime show. So the best Super Bowl parties have alternatives. It doesn't have to be anything crazy.

Halftime is only 30 minutes, and a lot of people just use that time to eat and use the bathroom. So even just having an actual FOOTBALL lying around is good enough.

#7) A Plunger. Don't advertise the fact that you have one. Just make sure it's available. (MidwestSportsFans.com)

The cops in Vermont HAD to know they were setting themselves up for trouble, right? They actually put PRISONERS in St. Albans, Vermont in charge of designing a new decal for the squad cars of state troopers. So naturally, those prisoners included a hidden message. A very subtle picture OF A PIG.

The decal features a cow with spots, and one of the spots is unmistakably a pig. About three dozen squad cars got the new decals before someone noticed.

The authorities are handling this in a very Vermont way . . . laid back and completely indifferent.

Vermont's Public Safety Commissioner, Keith Flynn, is a former cop . . . he says, quote, "This is not as offensive as it would've been years ago. We can see the humor."

There's no word on what, if anything, will happen to the inmates who made the decals. 

Some guy managed to convince BRAD PAISLEY to stop his show by holding up a note that said, "Brad, I'm from West Virginia. And I'm about to propose!!! Help!!" Being from West Virginia himself, Brad was totally cool about it. He even gave the dude his mike so he could do the proposal in front of the whole crowd.

It happened this past Saturday at Brad's concert in Las Vegas. Brad even attempted to capture the moment on video with their phone.

He ended by joking, "Congratulations to you two. To you sir. And my condolenses to you ma'am."

Wednesday was National Signing Day, the day when high school football players decide what college they're going to commit to. It's also a day when grown-up adults get OBSESSED with which 18-year-olds are going to play at their school.

This story REALLY puts all that in perspective. And reminds you that you're tying your fan support . . . and in some cases, your HAPPINESS . . . to impulsive teenagers who make idiotic teenage decisions.

The amazingly-named Cassanova McKinzy is a linebacker from Birmingham, Alabama who was deciding between Clemson and Auburn. He ended up going with Auburn. And his reason was . . . CHICK-FIL-A.

Cassanova says that when he visited Clemson, quote, "They had no Chick-fil-A on campus. You had to go, like, probably like 15 minutes off campus to go to like a real restaurant. Their café was kind of small."

And here's the craziest part of this decision. There actually IS a Chick-fil-A on Clemson's campus. Cassanova just didn't realize it and no one pointed it out to him . . . possibly because they didn't know THAT was his top criteria. (Yahoo Sports)

ROSEANNE is following through on her threat to run for president. She has officially filed papers seeking to become the Green Party candidate.

She told the party, quote, "I will barnstorm American living rooms. Mainstream media will be unable to ignore me, but more importantly they will be unable to overlook the needs of average Americans in the run-up to the 2012 election."

In a separate statement, she expressed her dislike for the two major parties . . . quote, "The Democrats and Republicans have proven that they are servants . . . bought and paid for by the 1% . . . who are not doing what's in the best interest of the American people."

One of Roseanne's key issues is MARIJUANA. She wants it legalized and sold BY Americans TO Americans.

If you doubt Roseanne's patriotism, listen once again to her AMAZING rendition of the national anthem . . . which she sang angelically before a San Diego Padres game back in 1990. I can't believe they never asked her back. Um . . . yeah.

There's no cure for cancer, not to mention male pattern baldness . . . but science has managed to create the world's most annoying Tweet.

Researchers from MIT, Georgia Tech, and Carnegie Mellon looked at what annoys people on Twitter. They created a website . . . Who Gives a Tweet . . . that allowed people to rate other users' Tweets.

They found that we hate overly long Tweets, too many hashtags, stale information, a whiny tone, overly personal information, and mundane topics. Like the stereotypical "what I had for breakfast" Tweet.

Based on all that, the researchers constructed the most annoying Tweet imaginable.  And here it is: 

"BREAKING: Last week I had a #sandwich that was SO HORRIBLE, it made me want to #scream. Seriously, why can't they make better #sandwiches?" (Jezebel)